History
SECRETARY’S REPORT
Dear fellow “EPICureans”,
Welcome to the first report from the inaugural “Ex-Patriot International Club” Golf Society (EPIC GS) Golf meeting held at the Abu Dhabi Championship Course on Thursday 24 June 2010 in hot, hazy, overcast conditions and an interesting 15 - 20 kt breeze throughout the afternoon.
Firstly thanks must go to Paul “The Lord” Spinks for the inspiration for setting up the Club, organising the tee times, briefing the rules (to his own entire satisfaction) and essentially for his passion (for golf!!) and enthusiasm in getting us all together for what is essentially a “Good Walk Spoiled” (Copyright Mr Mark Twain). Further developments on the structure and organisation of the club will follow in due course.
Three x 3-Balls were the order of the day, with Guy, Andy and Martin tee-ing off first followed by Colin, Steve and Mick O with Paul, Charlie and Mick W bringing up the rear. Looking at the scorecard, the first noticeable statistic is that no-one is falsely declaring their handicap - which is good to see. Well done everyone for their honesty.
Before I get on to the official awards, just a couple of others that throw themselves up either statistically or anecdotally.
Most Improved Student (essentially the school award that no-one ever wanted because it implied you were a complete buffoon to begin with) goes to Colin “The Bandit” Standen who with a paltry 8 points on the front nine, bolstered his teams score with a highly respectable 22 points on the back nine.......... and then spent most of the evening telling everyone about it!
In the English language there is such a thing as a double-negative (i.e. “I didn’t do nuffin”), however there is no such thing as a double positive - YEAH - RIGHT! The Y-R Award must go to Andy “The Gringo” Gomez who declares a 24 handicap and managed a supreme 16 points. 24 - Yeah Right!
The Egg-Laying Award has to go to Mick “Shags” O-Shagnasty who (as you can see by the scorecard) managed to lay 9 eggs and I can only assume that he was reading the directions of the fairways and the lie of the greens - on Saadiyat Golf Course!
The Petulant Toys-Out-Of-Cot Award must go to Mick Shi.... sorry Whitehouse who on the 6th hole hit his ball towards the water which laid up short - a simple chip to the green you may think? Not our Mick. Chucked his club in the bag, jumped in his cart and without a word to his playing partners burned rubber and buggered off to the 7th Tee - to sulk. Meanwhile his somewhat perplexed playing partners were left wondering what to do with his eminently playable ball. Pick it up - drive to the tee - and p*ss themselves laughing.
Right onto the real awards.
Top Score and Player of the Day went to “The Lord” Spinks who played to handicap and will now take a two shot deduction for the next meeting.
Front Nine Longest Drive went to Yours Truly who took great delight in pointing this out to Guy “The Suave” B-Jones who went at least 40 yards longer - but off the fairway. Gotta be on the short stuff to count Guy!
Back Nine Longest Drive went to Steve “The WAFU” Green who actually managed both L-Ds and beat a supreme drive by Guy on the 27th by 2-3 yards. Perhaps Guy needs a better driver? BZ Steve.
Nearest the Pin in Two on the front nine - Charlie “Dits” Bass with Colin “The Bandit” picking up the honours on the back nine.
Winning Team went to Paul, Charlie and Mick W with the Losers Beers gracefully paid for by Colin, Steve and Shags (again!).
Finally - and perhaps most importantly is the Winner of the HA prize (Heeeeeees a Hooooooooorrrrrrses Aaaaaaaaarse) goes, once again to Mick O’Shaughnessy for a dazzling display of golfing prowess. The Jury is out over whether or not he could go round in fewer shots by just using a putter.
Right that’s enough from me. Suffice to say - a great afternoon and with some of the “Gals” joining us for dinner made for a very pleasant end to a cracking round of golf.
There is no definite plan yet for next week, but please keep checking the website (thank you Charlie) and e-mails for details of the next meeting and any other events or requests. Don’t forget - anecdotes and photos will help the website grow and make these reports hopefully always interesting to read.
Finally a thought for the day: If you suffocate a Smurf - what colour does he go?
Yours Aye,
Martin
Constitution
No constitution has been entered yet for this society.
